


Laugh Like There's Nobody Watching

by favefangirl



Series: Sterek one-shots [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Laughter, M/M, Metaphors, Pining, Sad Derek, Unrequited Love, outwardly emotionally constipated derek, self-depricating derek, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 18:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10600044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/favefangirl
Summary: Derek is capable of feeling something, love sort of something, even if no one else can ever know.





	

Stiles laughs like there's no reason not to. It's beautiful. His head tilts back, his mouth opens wide, his Adams apple bobs. And the _sound_. Dear, sweet, baby Jesus. It's as sweet and smooth as honey. It makes me feel high.

But you know what they say about what goes up. It must come down.

And gravity kicks in for me about three syllables in. Then I'm falling, in more ways than one. Then I'm falling in everyway possible, and there's no one left to catch me. He's so beautiful and oblivious, and he is never there to catch me.

See, I'm broken. Damaged, beaten, bruised, cracked, whatever you want to call it. I'm not good anymore, probably never was. Regardless, there was a time, before my world turned upside, down that I would have been able to let myself watch him laugh. But that was so very long ago, I'm not sure I'd even recognise that naive, bunny-toothed, optimistic kid anymore.

I've always been at least half fucked. I mean, Twilight isn't exactly an accurate depiction of what it's like to be a werewolf trying to fall in love. It's not even close. There's so many complications and worries and problems to face, and how exactly do you tell someone you're interested in having a relationship with that you could turn and maul them in their sleep at any time?

Paige's name flashes in my mind so I crush the thought.

Then there was the whole Kate thing, she really messed with my head. But then, am I not to blame too? I let her in, I was too _weak_ to say no, to put a stop to everything. The fire - that was me. It was her, but it was _me_. She couldn't have done it without my help and that makes me just as responsible. The thought makes me feel sick.

Stiles laughs like there's no reason not to. I'm a walking reason not to.

He's - God - he's so infuriating. There have been countless times where I've felt like slapping that stupid (sexy) smirk right off his perfect face. I wasn't joking when I said I'd rip his throat out, the temptation is always there. He's so smart and snarky, and boy does the sarcastic little prick know it.

But, Dear Lord, is that endearing. Actually, Stiles' everything is endearing to me. It's pretty pathetic, I'm too old to be having silly little crushes like this. And there it is, yet another reason not to stare too long. He's only seventeen, I'm twenty-two. His dad is the sheriff, do I want to risk dating his underage son?

Then there's Lydia, and fuck me if she's not just perfect. She's beautiful, she's smart, funny, her wit matches his. It's like they were fucking  _made_ for each other. He's been head over heels for her for so long, and it's there in the way she looks at him - she feels it too.

Sure, she's a banshee, but it's not _that_ big of a deal. Not like if it were me, a _werewolf_. Full moons, hunters, claws and teeth, a lack of control. He likes to pretend he's less fragile than he actually is, but I see the truth, how easy he'd be to hurt whether to get at me or if I was the one doing it. Not to mention the villain of the week _every damn week_ coming after me and the pack.

Speaking of, it's not like either of us have particularly free schedules, what with the new supernatural flavour of the month to overcome, or school, or every other damn mess in Beacon Hills which _somehow_ falls to us - the pack - to sort out.

Stiles laughs like there's no reason not to. I can barely bring myself to smile anymore.

His laugh gets me high, but I daren't listen too long. Lest this time, when I fall, I can't bring myself to get back up. The thought scares me shitless. He's so _beautiful_ , I sometimes nearly listen longer anyway

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty weak I'm not gonna lie.  
> It started off based on [this](https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/290271138455191742/) which was initially Destiel but shush. It drifted away from this a bit, but never mind.  
> I'm trying to write, finish and post as much as I can whilst the inspiration strikes so I don't lose momentum and end up with writers block again which is the worst!  
> Please leave kudos and a comment if you're feeling lovely, have a wonderful day!


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